Healthy Ways to View Your Child | Episode 4 SHICHIDA Podcast

Transcript

Danh: Hello, everybody, and welcome to another episode of the SHICHDIA Shining Stars podcast, a podcast where we address all the questions parents have about early childhood education. My name is Mr. Danh, and with me today is a very special guest. She is the center manager of the Parramatta campus of SHICHIDA Australia. Please welcome to the show, Shabnam. Hi, Shabby!

Shabby: Hi. Thank you for having me.

Danh: Thank you for joining us. Shabby is here today to talk us through some of the do’s and don’ts when it comes to how parents view their children. Parenting can, of course, be challenging, especially for new parents. It is very easy to fall into parenting pitfalls that can have a detrimental effect on both you and your child.

Making mistakes is inevitable. No parent is perfect, and it is through these mistakes that we learn how to be better. Hopefully by the end of this episode, we will all have a better understanding on how to view your child in a healthy and constructive way.

So Shabby, your kids are SHICHIDA kids, right?

Shabby: Yeah, that’s right. So I have three boys and I’ve put them all through SHICHIDA. When I started working here, I was fascinated by the philosophy. So as a mom, I thought, wow, I would love this for my kids. And my oldest at the time was four years old, so I got him in just in time. And yeah, so he started when he was four and the others started quite younger.

At the moment, my eldest is ten years old. Middle child is turning eight very soon and my youngest is six. So at the time they were quite young when I started them, the younger two, and they’ve been coming to classes for the last 4 to 5 years, I would say. Once a week they’re coming to classes and yeah, I can say honestly, they’ve I can see a lot of benefits with them coming to SHICHIDA.

You know, it’s just a part of their life now. Recently my eldest actually graduated. Last year he finished and we had their graduation ceremony. It was wonderful. It was very lovely to see and see all the families coming together and just to see all that talent in one place. As a as a mother and a teacher, it really made me feel happy.

It’s like I was with those students and also my own kids saved from the start of the journey. And to see them taking so much out of the program at the end is so rewarding. Yeah. So yeah, I’m really happy that I did find SHICHIDA when I did and I was able to put in all three boys.

Danh: Yeah, I’m really happy that you’ve had a positive experience with SHICHIDA and yeah, I mean, bringing in three kids for weekly classes, you know, although it is a massive benefit to them, it must’ve come with a few difficulties as well, right? Even just in terms of scheduling all that around their other activities. Did you ever find it difficult?

Shabby: Well, I mean, I wouldn’t use the word difficult because just even as adults, if you really like something, if you really want to do something, you do your best to do it. I would say it wasn’t a difficulty, but it was more that we did have to overcome a few things in terms of scheduling. So we knew what we wanted. We wanted them to come to SHICHIDA on a Tuesday afternoon, for example. So it was more about working around our schedule, who can bring them, etc..

So yeah, we worked hard to make that happen. We did do, you know, say for example, my husband and I both are full time, but he is fortunate that he is more flexible with his work. So he could do the drop off and I take over. Thinking back the early years when the parents are still in the classroom, so he did have to be present, I would say, yeah that was obviously something that we had to invest in. So we knew that, you know, where it was going, that eventually they would be by themselves and they needed parents in the classroom at the early age. So he did have to change work schedule just a bit to be in the classroom. But overall, it was fine because in our mind we knew this is what we wanted.

So, yeah, it wasn’t really that – I wouldn’t call it a difficult, if you get what I mean.

Danh: Yeah, I mean, like looking back on it and seeing how much it has benefited your family and your children, you know, obviously you’re happy with the investment in time that you’ve both had to put in. So that’s great.

Shabby: Yeah.

Danh: And I guess, yeah, at the end of the day, it is super rewarding to see your child go through the program and end up on the other side with this awesome graduation where they get to display everything that they’ve learned in the program and everything that they’ve gained in the program.

So you yourself as a parent, did you find that you learned a lot from the program itself?

Shabby: Yeah, 100%. Honestly, I cannot imagine how much I would feel in the dark if I didn’t have SHICHIDA because it has so much structure and reassurance that it can give parents and it’s a different way of viewing. So it’s not stressful. It just makes you realize that your child is a child and how should you educate your child that will suit them – not to suit our needs or our wants, if that makes sense. It made me respect that every child is different. It made me realize that they each have their own potential in different areas. They don’t have to all be the same.

I learned so much honestly from what the curriculum, the philosophy can teach. You teach these kids, they’re like little mini adults in a way. So they’re going to be our future, right? Yeah. The significance of early education is mind blowing. Every child’s mind is a treasure that we have to look after in order to look after our world.

We have to, you know, make sure that these kids grow up right. And that’s what SHICHIDA does. It instils that into these children, into the parents to have, you know, better societies, better communities in the future.

Danh: Yeah. 100%, I love the way that you’ve put that Shabby and you’ve really like hit the nail on the head in terms of our two biggest goals at SHICHIDA. Of course to develop the children’s love of learning and help them, you know, make the most out of their abilities and get the best future for themselves, but also to educate parents and give them the kind of tools that they need to guide their children throughout their lifelong learning journey.

Because, as you said, you are so uncertain as a parent, especially as a new parent, nobody gives you a guidebook when you have your child.

Shabby: Yes.

Danh: So, yeah, it is a big goal of ours to, you know, give parents a bit more confidence in their abilities to become their child’s first and best teacher. And that is indeed the goal of SHICHIDA as a whole, this podcast, of course, and specifically this episode as well.

So we’re going to talk today about some do’s and don’ts when it comes to viewing your child. So you’ve gotten us off to a really good start in saying that children are the future. Yeah, they are going to shape the world in the future. So we should always keep that in mind. But there are also a few kind of like easy mistakes that parents might make when viewing their child.

Shabby: Yeah.

Danh: Can you just run through a couple of those?

Shabby: Yeah, definitely. Because as I said, I’ve got three boys and they’ve all got different personalities. With the help of SHICHIDA, I actually understand and I have to remind myself as a parent, we definitely do not compare. We shouldn’t compare our kids to other kids or to siblings, right? Because every child is very unique, just like every adult is very unique.

And we shouldn’t expect perfection. We shouldn’t be perfectionists, because what is perfect? Every child is different. Every human is different. And if you’re if you have that in your mind that you want your child to be perfect in this or perfect in that, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment because there’s no such thing as a perfect human being.

And we as parents, sometimes what we do is we start pinpointing on, my child isn’t good at their numeracy. Oh yeah, they’re good at their English, but what’s wrong? Why can’t they do the numbers? But it’s like, if you focus on the on the negative and what they can’t do, you’ve lost sight of what they can do and this is very dangerous and it can actually affect their self-esteem, their education and their learning.

So I do tell myself, yeah, as a parent, you should really focus on their strengths, not on their weaknesses and things that they can maybe develop over time with more nurture and care.

Danh: Yeah, I mean, it’s good to know about them, you know, obviously, so that we can kind of address them in a constructive way. But at the same time, we do have to acknowledge and put a strong emphasis on your child’s strengths as well, because like you said, all children are different. You know, they have different areas of strengths and different areas that they need to work on. If we focus solely on the areas that they need to work on and neglect the things that they are doing well, they themselves will feel like they’re only doing poorly, you know?

Shabby: Yeah.

Danh: Yes, because we always say that children feed off our own energy and the energy that we put out. So it is very easy for children to be influenced by their parent’s reaction to acts and their parent’s words. So yeah, definitely a little bit of encouragement goes a long way. Yeah.

Shabby: Yeah, yeah. Honestly, that’s the truth.

Something else I would honestly like to tell parents: you don’t have to look at your child in their current form and feel like that’s the, that’s their complete form because, you know, like I said and, and I always use this phrase, then they’re mini adults, so they’ve still got lots of time to grow and develop and find their personality, find their character, find their likes and dislikes.

If you look at your child and say, no, my child is not going to be successful in this, or my child will never know how to dance or draw, looking at them when they’re two or five or seven. You know, when you put it in words, it’s like, really? Is that what I’m doing? But yeah, that’s what some parents, we do.

We shouldn’t do that. You know, we shouldn’t look at that as their complete form. As adults, we’re always changing and growing, so, you know, why not our kids?

Danh: Yeah, especially children, Because they change so quickly. Every day almost, they have something different going on. Right? It is very much a time of change and a time of growth.

Shabby: Yeah.

Danh: We always say, especially the 0 to 3 year old period is the Golden Period where there’s just massive brain development going on. So yeah, like every day will bring new teachings and add new experience to them. Yeah. So definitely like when you’re viewing your child, just understanding that, you know, this is just the very start of their lifelong learning journey. And they’ll continue to grow just as adults, we continue to grow and develop. So yeah, just understanding that as well just gives people, you know, more of a peace of mind.

Shabby: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And one more thing. Sorry I could go on and on, but there is this thing where because as parents, we want the best for our child, whether it comes to their food, the clothing they wear, and even like academically, right?

But sometimes when we do fall in that trap – we become obsessed with academia as though that is it. It is the end. And it doesn’t matter if my child is a fabulous musician or a fabulous artist, but they’re not getting the marks. I want them to get in their literacy and numeracy and things like that and automatically we feel like that’s a fail.

But we shouldn’t. I don’t think we should place a child’s strengths solely on the academic development because every child is different. I mean, the world needs a variety of personalities and strengths and we need different people. We don’t want everyone to be the same, right? Isn’t that what we always promote? Like, diversity. We just want diversity. So if you do put a high priority on your child’s academia over anything else, then you’re actually going to make their learning, their education in life very, very unhealthy.

Yeah, I just I want to emphasize that point as well.

Danh: 100%. And I think, you know, this kind of mentality is changing in the world as well. I feel like when I was growing up and going to school, it was much more academia focused. But these days, I think, you know, people acknowledge the importance of EQ as well, so emotional intelligence and the part that that plays in learning and also in the world as a whole, which we will talk about in a later episode with Tazzie.

But what you’ve said about diversity and encouraging kid’s natural talents, even if those talents aren’t specific towards academia, like you said, some children might be musically gifted, some children might lean towards athletics and sports, yeah? So yes, recognizing the natural talent in your children and nurturing it in a positive way will let them, you know, get the most out of their life.

I think that’s the thing about early learning programs like SHICHIDA, yeah? A lot of the time, you know, parents might come to us because they’re looking for something to compensate for their child’s perceived areas of weaknesses. Like, for example, my child can’t do math. I need to find a program for him or her that, you know, will get them to the mathematical standard that we need them to be.

But SHICHIDA is not really for that. You know, obviously going to SHICHIDA will help in terms of developing their confidence and giving them fundamental skills. But it is also about letting your child find a passion for learning. And I think that’s something that is lost if we are just constantly drilling them and trying to hammer out any perceived weaknesses, you know.

Shabby: Yeah, I like the way you put it. Like that’s true. Yeah.

Danh: But in terms of ways to view your children, you know, you’ve touched on so many good points here Shabby. Do you have any other advice to give to parents as a mother of three children yourself and as a teacher at SHICHIDA?

Shabby: Yeah, definitely we do end every class at SHICHIDA when there are parents in the classroom, to give a big hug to mum and dad or grandma, grandpa in the classroom. I really, really love that because I feel like at the end of the day, the most important thing you can give your child is love. So if you give them happiness, love, that’s the best way that they will take education in very, very naturally.

So you want to always be their cheerleaders, their supporters in life, and they will be able to become the best human beings they can be through that. So we should never, ever have learning and knowledge and education seen as a burden or as a, you know, like anything negative. It should be loving and it should be a time to bond with your child because you’re teaching them.
We introduce these kids into the world. We want to teach them the world. Do it in a loving way, and you benefit your child emotionally, physically, intellectually, in every way if you do balance that, love, strictness and trust with your child in day-to-day living, that’s what I would say.

Danh: Amazing. Thank you so much, Shabby, and thank you for your time today. This this is very helpful advice and it is also just super easy to implement as well. Thank you for that.

Shabby: Thank you for having me Danh.

Danh: But remember everybody, your baby is learning and absorbing information from day one, so it’s never too early to start supporting their learning. The SHICHIDA Program is a weekly 50-minute learning program that uses fun brain boosting techniques that children age zero to nine.

Each class accelerates your child’s development by providing the vital elements for them to thrive and excel. For more information on how the SHICHIDA Program has been helping parents and kids get an early start in education visit www.shichida.com.au. You can enter the coupon code FUN50 to receive a 50% discount on your first lesson.

Alternatively, you can follow us on Instagram @shichidaaustralia. You can join our Facebook group to be part of the conversation or you can subscribe to our YouTube channel to get instant access to a wealth of parenting and early childhood education videos. Please join us next week as we invite Marcelle, the manager of our Doncaster Campus, to talk about how parents can become their child’s first teacher.

Thank you so much for listening and thank you again, Shabby, for joining us.

Shabby: Thank you so much for having me.

Danh: Until next time, bye bye!